5 Tips For Enjoying Sunday Game Night

From: Nathan
To: Game Friends

Game Friends,

Did I say “tips”? What I meant was LIFEHACKs. Please enjoy these LIFEHACKs.

LIFEHACK: Hand getting tired from holding all those cards? Try holding them together with that dingus that holds your bread bag closed! I guess it’s called a bread tag?

LIFEHACK: Can’t keep your meeples together? In a pinch you can cut a toilet paper roll in half and stand it on the table and put your meeples inside. When you need a meeple, just look for your half toilet paper roll! There will be meeples inside. BONUS LIFEHACK: Share the other half of the toilet paper roll with a friend!

LIFEHACK: In the mood for some nachos? Try attending a Sunday Game Night in your area at 5pm this Sunday. If you can pretend to be interested in board games for a few hours you will usually be offered some free nachos.

LIFEHACK: Need to bring food to share at a Sunday Game Night? That spindle case thing from your stack of CD-Rs you thought was useless makes a great food storage container. Works great for chips, popcorn, pulled pork, chili, donuts, soup, flour, guacamole, and more! CD-R spindles are food-safe and oven-safe so you can even use one as a bundt pan!

You’re Welcome,
Nathan

From: Trevor
To: Game Friends

If I didn’t think it would end in tragedy (and an aggressive chemical scent), I’d be all over making a CD-R bunt cake.

From: Lauren
To: Game Friends

DO NOT PUT PLASTIC IN THE OVEN

From: Kyle
To: Game Friends

LIFEHACK: Convert your waste ADP into essential ATP by degrading plant-made sugars in your mitochondria organelles through the krebs cycle! In a pinch, you can leave out the oxygen ingredient and just save the leftover lactic acid for later cleanup!

LIFEHACK: Instead of committing to a neverending hunter-gatherer existence, develop new technologies with free time gained by assembling into small cooperative communities—some members of your group will be able to set aside this time for experimentation and exploration! Warning: labor-based farming technologies like irrigation and field cultivation may cause slavery-based economies to appeal to some groups.

LIFEHACK: Alter the nutritional output of organisms on which you rely through primitive genetic engineering processes like domestication and breeding!

LIFEHACK: Use these advances in the field of sustenance to produce food in economies of scale, enabling you to easily and regularly construct the most perfect creation: the nacho!

BONUS LIFEHACK: Are your shoes falling apart? Replace them with another pair obtained either through barter or by using a fiat currency known as money!

From: Lauren
To: Game Friends

OMG Kyle, Morgan and I just stumbled across that shoe lifehack today! Great minds…