What Sunday Game Night's founder predicts for the very near future may surprise you

From: Nathan
To: Game Friends

You’d hardly know it walking by, but one apartment in Seattle is home to the hottest startup in the emerging artisanal email invitation to play board games (AEIPBG) industry, which is projected to be a $tk billion dollar industry in 2017. SGN Enterprises emerged from stealth mode last fall and quickly gathered buzz throughout the AEIPBG community as photos of the mysterious and mercurial founder emerged wearing blue jeans and a black mock turtleneck. This outfit, along with idiosyncratic business practices, has drawn comparisons to late Apple co-founder Steve Jobs, resulting in a breathless narrative surrounding SGN that is definitely not a distraction from critical flaws in the company’s core technologies, intellectual property, and financial viability. To learn more about what the future holds for this exciting new company, I spoke to the founder and sole employee, Nathan B       .

Note: this transcript has been lightly edited for clarity.

Q: Will there be a Game Night this Sunday at 5pm at your apartment?
A: Yes.

From: Lauren
To: Game Friends

SeahawksRule89
at 4:47 am

I have been a loyal reader for a year and I live in Seattle since BEFORE all these tech douches and what I want to know is how will this affect the EPIDEMIC of faux-indistrial garbage condos that are driving REAL SEATTLEITES out of the city WE MADE. I have been a loyal reader for a long time and I expect you to speak to REAL SEATTLE also board games will NEVER CATCH ON HERE

From: Virginia
To: Game Friends

Can AIRBVFU sustain such a high valuation given the current hot markets for llama and llol investment? Leading angel investor, Prince Bulipaip Oondjavi of UAE speculates that the inflated value of AIECUW will not survive first contact with VCs. Founder Nathan B        could not be reached for comment.

Early employee Trevor H        was however available for comment from his hideout in the Southern Hemisphere. “The company uses off the shelf games instead of the claimed proprietary fun formula that founder Nathan touts as AIEVRHU’s main IP. Investors don’t realize that they’ve been duped out of millions.”

Meanwhile, FOMO is still frothy in Seattle. The J       -E        Family Fund has been closely watching how the mountain snow to cat quotient is shifting and may soon invest in AEIPBLS.

From: Trevor
To: Game Friends

Scoop: an errant text made contact with Trevor H       . Direct quotation: ‘I f^cking hate acronyms. But games = awesome.’